This 5 Things Friday is grappling with the collapsible nature of time.

This week, I present to you…

5. This headline from the NYT, with their hard-hitting discovery of the concept of “roommates.”

Other headlines:

“Unable to Pay in Full? They Found a Novel Way to Purchase Their Cars, One Month at a Time”

“Their Desperate Solution to the Cost of Entertainment: Sharing Their Netflix Logins—With Total Acquaintances”

4. These monkeys.

I can attest that this is an accurate depiction of what it’s like to be a Pisces Moon in love with another Pisces Moon.

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#softbabies

3. This tweet for millennials.

yeah it's from 2018, but as you'll see from the next tweets, I have a warped sense of time, so

I recently bought a water bottle that lights up and sends me inane notifications (“Water you doing? 😦” // “This is your brain without water 🌵” // “RING RING it’s me, water ☎️”) when I have to drink.

2. This tweet thread, also for millennials, about the nature of time.

this thread and the tweet above were curated by the IG account @thirtyaf, which I guess is highly relevant to me as a 30 year old, but I guess for only the next 5 months of my life. (what happens when the account owner turns 31? that's the real mystery here.)
this was written in 2018 but I wasn't even aware until 2021 that I couldn't wear skinny jeans, once Gen-Zers told me so

1. These half-baked astrological bullet points about said nature of time.

  • Saturn had recently entered Capricorn by the time the above tweets were written, which I'm sure contributed to all the angst about traditional expectations and standards of achievement and a feeling of scarcity around Time.
  • All these feelings have only accelerated since 2020, thanks to world events and some relevant astrological transits.
  • With Saturn/Uranus clashing in the sky for the past couple years, our traditional, linear notions of time (Saturn) have been zapped and collapsed and shaken up by the erratic, lightning-bolt energy of Uranus.
  • Millennials grew up with the birth of the World Wide Web, which is currently experiencing its Saturn return (as am I—yay Saturn in Aquarius). The internet, more than any other invention, has served to speed up and warp our perception of time. And any hard Saturn transit—but ESPECIALLY the first Saturn return—causes you to confront Saturn themes like mortality, the finite nature of time, the feeling of, “Do I have enough time left??” and “What will my legacy be?!” and “What am I making of my life????” I’m not surprised that these themes have amped up for a lot of us since Saturn entered Aquarius in 2020—which was also when we entered into a very isolated (Saturn) and very online (Aquarius) phase of our lives.
  • Millennials are basically the Pluto in Scorpio generation, with a subset of us also having the notable signature of Uranus conjunct Neptune in Capricorn. I feel like having our Pluto in a fixed sign has meant that we are more likely to fixate on expectations that we’ve held for a long time (e.g. things we were told in childhood—like the fact that we should hit certain landmarks at certain points in our life). And Neptune/Uranus in Capricorn can manifest as: yearning for traditional capitalist success and having those expectations shattered OR imagining traditional aspirations differently. (<— credit to Taylor Ursula of That’s So Pisces for inspiring this interpretation!)

What do you think? Are you a Millennial who’s feeling this? Are you a Gen-Zer who’s like, pshhh my sense of time has been collapsing since the womb? Are you well past your Saturn return and looking back at 30 year olds like me and going, damn did that Tomagotchi teach her nothing? Are you a youth who doesn’t know what a Tomagotchi is? Inquiring minds need to know.

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5 Things Friday Astrology