It's been a minute since I've written.
I didn't mean to drop off the face of the Earth there, but these past couple months have been doing a number on me, and I know my weekly writings have fallen by the wayside in the meantime.
After going through my 12th House season straight into this eclipse season (in case you didn't know, we're sandwiched between a pair of eclipses right now!) – one which happens to be fucking with all my Scorpio placements – and then with my ruling planet (Mars) going retrograde the other day – I've been feeling a little bit out of sorts.
(Any other Mars-ruled folks (Aries and Scorpios) feeling it? Today I accidentally put my elbow in a pile of ketchup, and then tripped up the stairs on the way to work. Mars rules the body – and that means movement and coordination. A difficult Mars transit (or placement) can be accident-prone. Be careful out there! Especially when driving – Mars also rules anger, and I wouldn't want a lack of coordination or an excess of road rage to cause you any trouble.)
But I wanted to take this time to pop in and let you know I'm still around. Taking this time – while frustrating and difficult – to rethink a lot of things about Shadow Femme and recenter myself. I've been deep in thought on the subject of re-grounding and clarifying my practice and offerings. It hasn't exactly been a time of huge changes and revelations and breakthroughs, but rather a period in which I've circled back around to threads of ideas that I've been tugging at in the last two years.
It's not that I'm creating something entirely new, but rather that I feel ready to bring together these familiar but seemingly disparate threads in order to stitch them together in a stronger and more coherent way.
As a Mars-ruled person, I feel the pressure to speed this process along so I can start! announcing! all! the things!
But this Mars retrograde has given me pause. I'm going to take a bit more time to get things right, and then I will keep you posted as I gradually unveil new offerings.
Along the way, I will still keep writing to you and sharing messages from my Spirits. Since we just started a new month (my birthday month! have I mentioned yet that I'm a Scorpio?), I wanted to leave you with a message from my guide Rosario to help carry you through this November.
(Btw: I drew oracle cards before channeling this and one of them was "The One Who Hides the Sun" which I thought was hilariously accurate given that we're just coming off of a solar eclipse.)
There is a fever in the air. The fever of doubt when one is tugged between two equal and opposite forces. Two wormholes opening up in the timeline: one bookend on either side of this moment. We are deep in eclipse season. The dip between the pair of spiraling portals. What goes in may not come out again for many moons.
Hug your dear ones close, but release with open palms that which does not serve you. That which has withered and died on the vine. Release what you no longer need. And examine your needs. Are they true? Are they accurate? Are they honest? Do they live close to your skin – close to the surface – close to your lips – or do they lie buried deep, deep, deep within the confines of the soul.
The portals that open up in the sky – they take as well as give. Ancients knew that eclipse season was something to be feared – that it was fearsome – fearsome in the sense that it inspired justified awe – the awe that one feels in the face of something uncontrollable, too large and mysterious to comprehend or fight.
Eclipses are not times to perform great magic, to petition and ask the great forces for favors. It is a time to be rightfully awestruck of what can happen when time wrinkles and bends. It is a time to sit in contemplation – the kind of contemplation that can be felt when one moves from the winds of a hurricane into the center and back out again.
Of all moments, this is one in which you may understand that time truly is not linear. That actions can ripple out in patterns which are not evenly spaced and perfectly concentric. They can ripple out, rather, across dimensions of space and time, in ways that are unfathomable to the human eye and mind.
Have faith that the actions you take in life are felt in realms beyond your own. And that your Spirits listen to you and guide you in the best way they can, while dealing with a sense of time that does not cohere to your linear understanding of it.
This eclipse season, you may find the strength and calm to move in a different direction. This will not likely feel like the kind of decisive agency you may enjoy at other times in your life, when you weigh choices, decide, and move forward along a path of your own free will. This may feel like you are being spun by a centrifugal force and flung out, stumbling and dizzy, a little disoriented, but nevertheless pointed in a new direction. Once freed from this great force, you can gather your wits and decide to explore this new potential path.
Let the tears and smiles come in equal measure. Make space for all the feelings – they are all allowed here. Pay your respects to the Sun and the Moon, and bow your head in calm acknowledgment of their power and their blessings.
I hope this message inspires and steadies you as we journey closer to this next eclipse. Wishing you calm and strength in the week ahead.
Til next time,
You'll receive thoughtful reflections and channeled messages, as well as updates + announcements about my offerings.