This is a transcript of The Shadow Femme Show podcast. Click here listen to this episode.
Welcome to The Shadow Femme Show, a show about humans, our feelings, and the ways in which we make meaning.
I'm your host, Sarah, and I'm an astrologer, human design reader, healer, and psychic medium, bringing you this episode in Aries season on the archetype of Aries.
For me, this is a shift in energy. And I'm sure for many of you, you might be feeling this as well as we enter into Aries season—it is considered the start of the astrological new year. So even though the calendar year starts in January, which is the middle of winter, the middle of Capricorn season in astrology, Aries is considered the beginning of the zodiac, the start of the astrological new year.
For this winter in particular that we've just gone through, astrologically it's been a pretty slow, but also intense time. And so as we move into the newer, fresher, more fiery energy of Aries, this could be a good turning point, if you've been feeling pretty bogged down or even depressed, during these last few months. I know for me, this is marking a big shift because I had a pretty tough experience this winter, I actually—it just feels pretty wild to say it out loud. But I had an entity attached to me and kind of glom on to me. Starting at the beginning of December, I didn't realize it at the time, it was really gorging itself on my depression and exacerbating all of my most obsessive, negative thoughts. And it brought me actually to a really dark place. And luckily, one of my spiritual mentors who's a really talented medium was able to tell when I had an appointment with them that there was this thing attached to me, and they were able to do a clearing on that. And yeah, it was really intense, probably the darkest, lowest point I've ever been at in my life.
And throughout Pisces season for me, I felt like I've kind of been recovering and healing from that experience. And now that we're entering into Aries energy, it feels like maybe now it's time for me to start moving again at a quicker pace and rejoin life a little bit because for a few months I was in—especially in January and February—I was really just withdrawing and becoming very inert and depressed and withdrawn, antisocial. The Pisces episode was recorded when I was still in that state and wasn't aware of what was causing it, actually.
But now I'm coming at you with renewed energy and just feeling more like myself. So all that being said, I'm going to pull a few cards and see what my guides have to say about Aries.
Okay, so I shuffled my deck, and right away, a couple cards sort of flipped out of the deck. And since it happened immediately after I started shuffling I was like okay, are these are these right? Because the first one seemed pretty unexpected for me for a sign like Aries, but the first card I drew is called Broken Heart. And then the next one, which is more obviously Aries, is the Dragon card. And this is from an oracle deck called the Deck of Character.
Aries in Love: A Sign that Falls Hard and Fast
So what’s coming to me for the first card—broken heart—is that just the fact that Aries is really brash, and Aries puts itself out there. I think it's a misconception that water signs are the ones with all the feelings and everyone else is just somehow not as emotional. I also think fire signs are really emotional, if not the most demonstrably emotional out of all the signs.
I think it was Christopher Renstrom’s book, The Cosmic Calendar, where I read a perspective like this on the different elements, where actually, water signs—they feel a lot of emotions, they feel very deeply and they're very energetically emotionally sensitive, but they don't actually feel the need to show these emotions on the surface as much and be as expressive about them. It's usually something that happens more internally. Whereas fire signs tend to be very expressive, and enthusiastic and energetic. “Enthusiastic” is a key word for Aries energy.
And so I have this card—I was just surprised to draw it because I just wasn't expecting “broken heart” to be the first thing associated with Aries. But in a way, I think it makes sense because what came to me immediately was just the fact that Aries are really bold, they put themselves out there—they put themselves out there quickly, and when they are into someone or something, they love hard and fast. And they're very passionate people.
And just because they are stereotyped as being just, like, athletes, or people who are just aggressive and want to fight—or they're loud and stuff like that—doesn't mean that they also aren't full of passion and feelings. “Passion” is also a good keyword for for the fire signs.
All that is to say that Aries—and I feel like I've seen this in people with Aries Venuses because Venus can tell you a lot about how you are in one-on-one relationships, and when it comes to attraction and courtship and things like that—I've seen a lot of Aries Venuses crush hard, and love hard and fast, and get into relationships very quickly or become swept up with the idea of someone, or the early stages of dating someone, very quickly and very passionately.
And I think this card, “broken heart,” has to do with the fact that when you move through life hard and fast—and therefore you also love hard and fast and with a sort of bravery and maybe even a bit of recklessness—it's understandable that you might get banged up and bruised a bit along the way. And maybe break a few bones or break a few hearts or have your own heartbroken that sort of thing. I feel like people that have Aries placements can be—accidentally—heartbreakers. Because their passions—their interests, and all that—move very quickly. And they are very into the pursuit—in the beginning stages of things, especially—and the chase, because Aries is a sign that's ruled by Mars, which is the sign of the hunt, the hunter.
Like I mentioned before, Aries are associated with athletes with being active, running, chasing, fighting, things that involve movement, forward movement. And so I feel like fire signs, because they are so enthusiastic and demonstrative, they can really shower you with their enthusiasm with their passion. And that's just a wonderful thing to receive, if you're someone who really appreciates enthusiastic attention, and just an enthusiastic, expressive energy that is genuine. It comes through in this unfiltered way. For a lot of fire signs, it's not an affect, it's just an impulse and a feeling that comes through, kind of unfiltered, in this really endearing way.
I personally really like fire sign enthusiasm. A lot of times—I'm a triple water sign, and I feel like I have a lot of emotions inside but they don't always express themselves very strongly on the outside—and sometimes I feel very seen and like I’m almost being given permission to have all these strong feelings, if I see them expressed and reflected back to me by a very enthusiastic and reactive and like engaged fire sign.
The somatic practitioner I work with, for example, is a fire sign, and I really love that energy. I've told people and therapists I've worked with before that I actually like it when they're expressive back to me, when they emotionally react to what I say, because I really prefer that, as opposed to just a cold, removed, more deadpan and moderate presence, where the person's trying to just calmly sit and stare at me and analyze me and write on their notepads and I’m telling them really intense stuff about my life.
But anyway, I kind of got a tangent there, but I feel like this—like I was saying before—this card, Broken Heart, has to do with the fact that Aries energy and people with strong Aries energy, it's like they can end up breaking hearts and or getting their hearts broken. I don't think it's because they set out there to break hearts—at least, most people don’t. But I think it can be a side effect, a byproduct, of the way that Aries placements move through life. And then, similarly, I think that if you are brash and bold and brave with the way you put your heart out there, it's understandable that you might get your heart broken occasionally.
But I think the upside to Aries energy in those situations, too, is that I feel like Aries placements move on quickly, to some extent, like as soon as they come up with a new passion or encounter new passions or interests, for better or worse. I think that, in essence—since we're talking about crushes and love and relationships—I feel like that can lead to someone who has, basically, serial crushes. Like they get over someone as soon as they have a new, exciting interest in their life, and then they're on to the next one. And yeah, for better or worse, I think that helps someone with those Aries placements to move on and shift their focus and start running again in another direction.
An Independent, Singular Force
And all this isn't to say that Aries are all about the chase and can't be in a steady, committed relationship. I think that it all depends on the dynamic, and whether that person still feels like they have some degree of independence and freedom and that they still get a sense of thrill or chase in other facets of their relationship and or their life. I think “independence” is another good keyword for Aries; it is a very independent sign. And in a way it might be the most—I was gonna say “individual”—of all the signs.
I don't know if that conveys what I mean it to convey—like “individual”, the way we use “individual” as an adjective, I feel like we use it to mean “unique,” more of like an Aquarius type. But I mean individual in the sense that Aries energy has to do with the essence of the self, like the self as a singular, fiery, creative, impulsive force moving through the world. Yeah, because with it being a cardinal sign, with it being a fire sign, and those two energies combined, and being ruled by Mars, it's like you get this energy of speed and also of wanting, and—I was gonna say “desire,” but I think that implies more of almost a passive energy, like sitting there and desiring something and kind of pining after it. I feel like Aries energy is about going out and getting the thing. It moves quickly. And so, as soon as an Aries placement is like, “Oh, I want that thing,” it's like, “Alright, let's go out and get it.” And it probably won’t sit there and pine over it. Aries tends to move into action pretty quickly.
On the other hand, I feel like people—especially women and AFAB people who are Aries or have strong Aries placements—I'm saying all of these descriptions of Aries, kind of in its “purest” energy. But if you've been socialized as a woman in this world, you probably have been taught to not necessarily express that energy in its purest form; you probably have been taught to be more demure and polite and move more steadily and slowly. Gracefully, politely, elegantly, things like that. And you might have been taught not to exercise your impulses or your brashness.
But I think that over time, if you are interested in becoming more in touch with your Aries placements, you can sort of peel back all those layers and start to become more in touch with that energy.
The Myth of the Knight and the Dragon
Now the other card, Dragon, I feel like is a more stereotypically Aries card than the previous one (Broken Heart) was. Yeah, to me, “Dragon” evokes a few things. This dragon is breathing fire, and that makes a ton of sense for Aries as a fire sign. And it also makes me think of the idea of the knight fighting the dragon in so many myths. And I feel like in that situation, I mean, I drew this card, and I was like, “Oh, ‘Dragon’—that's Aries energy.” But also, in all those archetypal stories, the knight is also representative of Aries as well.
Knight energy is very Aries, very Mars. So that's pretty interesting, right? If you can place the archetype of Aries in both of those characters, both of those archetypes, and in stories like that, it just makes me think of shadow work, of parts work.
I don't know if you, as a listener, are familiar with parts work. But basically, in a nutshell: shadow work, or parts work, has to do with identifying, naming, and exploring the different parts of yourself—the different battling voices in your head—and understanding where they've emerged from, and why and how they conflict, and/or how they attempt to get you what you want in various ways that may or may not be healthy.
For example, many of us have, within our psyche, what are called “manager parts.” And these are parts that, a lot of times, have sprung up at some point during our childhood, for instance, in reaction to perhaps trauma, or various circumstances in our lives where we felt these parts have been necessary for us to function and survive in the world. So a manager part would be a part within you that's like, “Okay, in order to survive, and in order to get what we need, we need to be really on top of things, we need to be organized and regulate ourselves and probably even criticize ourselves and be harsh on ourselves and just hold everything to a high standard so that we don't get hurt, and so that we don't get rejected.” That's an example of the dialogue of a part within your psyche.
And anyway, so I think of these myths of the Dragon and the Knight and how that can have to do with Aries, because I feel like I read Aries energy into both of those characters. And in those stories, the Dragon is obviously fiery, brash, and a fearsome a fighter in its own right, and so is the Knight—the Knight is very brave. It's crusading, it's on the chase, on the hunt, on a mission, on a crusade. And it’s kind of like two forces—two pretty fierce and fiery forces—meeting each other.
So, all that is to say that I thought of parts work, I thought of shadow work, when I was thinking of Aries being reflected in both these characters, because, in a way, that could represent two facets of the Aries archetype—or, for an Aries person, this can maybe represent two parts within their psyche.
Aries Fire: Societally Acceptable or Unacceptable?
And that makes me think: What these what these parts could possibly be within the mind of an Aries? And I feel like the dragon could represent the more unacceptable—societally unacceptable—aspects of Aries, like Aries energy that becomes antisocial, and by “antisocial,” I mean like “anti-society,” like, against society. Aries energy that becomes almost too brash, too fiery, like the fire becomes out of control, much like the fire that emits from the dragon's mouth, to the point where it’s considered to be too much, and it scorches everything, and it's just too much, and then the Knight comes in. And the Knight is like the societally accepted characteristics of Aries, where it's like Aries in the form of the Crusader, like the Aries with the goal, the Aries with a societally accepted goal. The Aries that channels its ability to fight into the needs of the collective and of the overarching society. I feel like the societally approved form of expressing that similar Aries energy is: joining the military.
In America, even though Republicans and Democrats are always at odds and have literally opposite values, almost everyone agrees, in a bipartisan way, that we should support our troops. They say that to various degrees of hypocrisy, probably, but it's considered in America to be very standard and patriotic to at least give lip service to the fact that you support our military. And so I feel like the military gets given the stamp of approval as a way in which you can express that Aries fire / fighter / soldier / crusader energy, but when it's, quote unquote, “anti society,” and it's considered to be too much, and too fiery, that's more of a Dragon archetype that needs to be slayed. And you need a Good—like a capital “G” Good—Aries fighter to come in and kill that dragon.
Side Note: The Sensation of Physical Channeling
Another thing that popped up for me as I was sort of channeling all that—and I say channeling because sometimes there's a blurry line between what I'm expressing in these episodes and just my own thoughts, but for me, it does sometimes feel very distinct when I'm in a certain flow. And it feels like this has been channeled right now. And interestingly, for the first time ever, as I was talking about the characters of the Dragon and the Knight, I was experiencing this sort of physical effect as well. I say “first time” because this particular experience was uniquely a first time experience—I just felt this force moving my body around as I was talking. So I hope the audio came out okay, because I was swaying my bod, all around and around in a big circle.
I gave my guides consent for this episode, too, for me to be a more physical channel for them and for them to physically speak through me than just relaying information to my head that I could then say out loud, which is what I normally do. When I actually tried to channel out loud for the first time ever last, I think last September—this was after I discovered that I could receive information, like hear information and write it down, and could even do a bit of like automatic writing, like my with my hand sort of being helped to move across the page—I tried to channel by speaking out loud for the first time, and during that experience I actually felt my guides physically speaking through me, and I got kind of scared and I pulled back a little bit, and since that I've only received information in a more in a non-physical way, meaning that I am not having spirit move my mouth and my body. But I have gotten more comfortable with that idea, and I'm trying to ease into it a little more.
Being "too much"
So I just wanted to get back briefly to one thought that I had earlier as I was channeling all that. And it was the idea of just being “too much.” So I feel like the phrase “too much” might be a vulnerable spot for Aries. And it's something, honestly, that I resonate with as well. And maybe that's because I'm Mars-ruled.
But I've heard this expressed by Aries, and people with prominent Aries placements as well—basically this fear of being too much. And I think that can come with the territory, if you are someone who—just like many fire signs—has a lot of passion, has a lot of enthusiasm. And especially for Aries, I think there is usually even more impulse present, to just let impulse flow immediately into action. And that can be action in the form of just a physical manifestation, like someone's expression, what they're saying and what they're what they're doing. And so there can be, in other words, maybe a little less of a filter or less of a desire for a filter for someone with strong Aries placements, and more of a desire to just be, and to exist as this big fiery creative impulsive force of nature.
And although Aries can—anyone can be—graceful, grace is not usually a trait associated with Aries placements, and someone who is acting from their Aries placements might end up being a little more confrontational or blunt or just direct, candid, with people than many might expect. And that could get labeled as “too much” as well, or even rude, and can cause sensitive Aries to kind of question themselves and feel bad about themselves, as well as any Aries who may enthusiastically put themselves out there, with interest, with passion with enthusiasm, whether that's in expressing what they're interested in, or trying to meet new friends, trying to meet people and connect with them, or trying to trying to establish a relationship with someone, like in talking to their crush, or going on a first date, or talking to someone who they're in the early stages of dating with, or someone they're maybe already already in an established relationship with. I feel like there can be the feeling of being “too much,” of having just too much energy, too much passion, that perhaps like the other person can't handle.
And maybe because Aries is a sign that can be so quick to move on once once they find a new interest or passion, there may then be that understanding and that fear that someone else could perhaps just as quickly move on, if they are deemed to be, quote unquote, “too much.” So all that is to say that if we're talking about shadow parts—and “shadow parts” meaning like the parts of ourselves that we relegate to the basement of our psyche, and that we deem unacceptable, and unlovable—then the Dragon could represent a shadow part for many Aries who feel like they are too much—too much in any sense of the word. Because that Dragon can represent that unchecked, pure brash, Aries energy that has not conformed to society, and that can be considered intimidating and even destructive, right? Like Mars in its most destroyer type form or Mars in its most scorching, powerful, destructive form.
But sometimes there are things that need to be burned to the ground. And in that case, Dragons are very useful for that.
Parts Work: Bringing it All Together
So I didn't know going into this at all that I was going to be talking about things like this or that I would end up talking about these two different facets of Aries, the Knight and the dragon. But I find that dichotomy really interesting. And, well, I am not leaving you here with a neat solution or anything to resolving these conflicting parts; I think that has to be done through shadow work, through parts work, through really exploring the root of these parts and bringing immense compassion to them. I think at least think that naming them in this way can be helpful. And it can be an interesting start to this journey of examining these parts within yourself, if this applies to you, or if you're someone who knows an Aries, or someone with strong Aries placements, maybe this can help you just conceptualize these different parts in a way that will help you understand them better.
So to bring everything together that I was just talking about: I think that the Dragon represents, for Aries, anything that society deems—and that therefore they learned to deem—as being unacceptable, and therefore unlovable, and something that needs to be regulated, or repressed within themselves, or even killed or destroyed or slayed. And in shadow work, this would be considered a shadow part, a part that needs to be controlled and repressed—a part that's been exiled to the basement of the psyche, and that's considered unworthy of seeing the light of day, because it doesn't deserve to be seen by other people, or even the person whose psyche this is might not feel safe or able to be loved if that part is expressed.
And then the Knight is is what would be considered to be more of a societally acceptable expression of Aries through the form of having a goal and being in line with the values of the overarching society. And this can be in a more literal expression of the archetype of the fighter in the form of—like I mentioned—joining the military, or it can just come in the form of someone who is expressing the part of themselves that's more of a determined and capital G, “Good” type, or even just a vanquisher of things that are considered to be bad and wrong.
All that is to say that the Knight is more of the part that is trying to stay on top of things and control things and react to perceived danger. And basically, when you think of the myth of the Knight slaying the Dragon, it kind of represents the more societally acceptable form of Aries killing off the more unacceptable form, and triumphing over it. But yeah, it's kind of like this false myth that you can kill off parts of yourself and then just let the “good” and acceptable parts run the show and thrive and that you'll feel still feel whole that way.
Okay. Anyway, I feel like I'm getting off on yet another long ramble. So I'm going to wrap it all up here.
So that is our episode for Aries season. I hope you've enjoyed it.
As far as any Shadow Femme updates for you: I am actually—if you're listening to this in time—I'm going to be working for the first time ever at a live event of witchy practitioners. And it's going to be a weekend at the end of March, the 26th and 27th. The 26th is a virtual day and the 27th is an in-person day, in Los Angeles. And so if you're interested you can go to my website and you can look at the menu at the top where it says “pop-up event,” and you can learn more about it there. But basically you can get tickets there to the event, if you're interested, to browse the marketplace of vendors and practitioners, and there will be speakers, and if you want book a session directly with me, you can do so through the booking links I have there, and it's actually going to be a special lower price just for this event. And so this is your chance to book me at that special rate if you want to.
Okay, so I hope you have a wonderful Aries season and I will see you next time.
You'll receive thoughtful reflections and channeled messages, as well as updates + announcements about my offerings.